Rules for a happy marriage

Marriage is a very crucial part of life. You may think of many requirements for your future husband/wife. No matter what, the wannabe husband/wife would be of complete opposite to your expectations. This is true in most of the cases I have seen. Whether it is an arranged marriage or a love marriage, adjustments and compromises are inevitable after starting a new life together.

These are some of the to-do things which I could think of for a prosperous married life.

For Men:

1. Start spending more time with her. See that you spend some time despite being busy in office or out with friends for a night party. Always remember to message her atleast to let her know that you still think of her even when you are outside.

2. Decrease the time which you spend on friends.. be it on phones or a friends gettogether or a unplanned dinner. Give importance to her.. change your priorities and let her know that she is the utmost priority always.

3. Keep impressing her like giving flowers or cooking for her on a weekend or doing things for her which she usually does.

4. If possible, walk for 15 or 20 mins a day with her after dinner. This could be the time where you can have a romantic conversation.

5. Plan a trip with friends only if its unavoidable. Such outings really annoy her so much.

6.  Sit idle in a park with her and enjoy the calm surroundings, have small talks in between.

7. Never discuss serious things (like finance, future plans, children, family topics etc) before going to bed. It could disturb the night peace and could possibly have a bad next morning also.

8. Never forget to take good care of important days like valentine’s day, anniversary day, or her birthday and even your birthday. These days can make or break you up if not handled properly. Plan for outing together, gift her something, and last but not the least.. Be the first person to wish her and treat her like a princess. (Even if you do not believe or celebrate them (anniversary day is no exception.. must and should day which should be celebrated or else get ready for the heat..!)

9. Try to enter into her world of expectations and try to reach at least 80 % of them.

10. No matter how busy you are, keep calling or texting her often.

11. Please remember that you would be always the first person to be in her mind no matter where she is or how she is.

For Women:

1. For GOD’s sake, remember one thing in mind: Marriage life is not a dream world what you think of. Be practical and don’t live in a virtual world.

2. Don’t expect too much from him. He could be a dumb ass. He could forget to text you when you are at home and waiting for him. Don’t curse him. He could be really stuck up in work and may not come to mind that he needs to inform you of it.

3. Men will be men.. boys will be boys.. They love hanging out with friends more than anything. Allow him for parties and you be a part of it if possible.

4. Allow him for trips with friends. This could be the biggest gift that you would be giving to him..!

5. Let him booze and drink… he is used to do this before marriage and it is very difficult to give up such good old habits.

6. Even though he may not be with you all day or may not call you up all the day but at the end of it, he sleeps peacefully only if he has a small conversation with you. He could be so bad at coming out with feelings but still please do keep in mind that you are the most valuable person to him.

7. The last thought of the day before he falls asleep is you. You would be all over his mind and personally I feel that this is the time where one truly thinks of himself and about you also. This is really true.

Common:

1. Arguments and quarrels are inevitable in a married life. If one is shouting, the other should try to keep his/her calm. Let the heat come down from the mind and then sit, discuss peacefully in a slow and gentle voice.

2. Its good to have difference of opinions and war of words. It helps you to understand your partner better and not to repeat the mistakes which could be the triggering aspect.

3. Do not ever continue arguments due to external factors like parents, relatives or friends and any other thing which is not related personally to both of you. Someone else should not be the problem topic between you.

4. Never take words that come out of anger seriously. They could have come out at the nick of time. They will feel sorry once situation calms down.

5. Try to have discussions directly in person instead of texting or phone calls.
6. Don't be really true to him/her. Dont lie but hide the hard truth at times which may hurt the other. This is necessary for unnecessary arguments.

These are all the things I could think of. Wish you all the best folks.. !

Flow of Life

Date: 19^th January, 2015, 8:00 PM PST. Flying to Phoenix, Arizona from San Jose, California, US Airways.

My wife was in a bit of dilemma of what to do next after finishing her Masters in Pharmacy.. Whether to secure a job in Hyderabad, then come over to US and join me or come directly to US to look for the chances she has here to continue her studies.

I left wondering why I did not have these confusions of taking the next step in education or job? I do not have the slightest clue why I am a software engineer. I did not have such ambition and did not ever think of what to become in life.

• It all started in my last year of high school.. I did think of what to take up for my +2: Maths or Biology? Like a sheep in a herd, took up Maths (also which is a bit easier than Biology).
• After +2, which stream of graduation to take up? Electronics? Mechanical? Civil? Computers? Computer science engineering was the fashion at that time because of the jobs and salary it is going to fetch with an easy settlement in life. So took up Computers for my graduation.
• I wanted to secure a job after the graduation, due to the fact that I was becoming lazy to study anything further.
• Be it destiny or luck.. I got placed in a MNC company on 8^th July, 2008 in my first semester of my final year of graduation. Out of 960 members who attended the placement program, only 2 were selected into the company and I was one of them.
• My graduation ended on 30^th April, 2009 and I had my joining date on 22^nd Feb, 2010 with a gap of nearly 10 months which was the best free time for me. The only activities I did were eating, sleeping, and watching movies, roaming around city. My close friends went to US for their MS program. I took some time to get over them.
• The training period at Mysore between 22^nd Feb, 2010 to mid of July 2010 was a great learning experience with diverse persons and their backgrounds. Very fortunate to get a great set of friends at this time. A luxurious separate single room with 5 star facilities and a world class infrastructure of the campus, the training program, courses, back to back exams with negative marking and classes, assignments, movies every weekend in the campus multiplex.. It is an altogether different world. This is the best thing about the company.
• The first project at Hyderabad I was into learnt me a lot and gave me lessons for job and life. Thanks to my teammate(s).
• The second project at Mangalore from 13^th February to mid of July, 2012 is a huge milestone in my life personally and professionally. The 5 months plus stay at Mangalore in a single room without a TV, a proper fan, back breaking office work, 3 memorable bike trips, lot of books, the loneliness and the freedom is something I would always cherish for. Thanks to a friend there and for his gyan on sex education.

                    The thought of moving to development area from software testing got planted in my mind here.

• Back at Hyderabad, movement to a new unit, being in software development area with my training batch mates was good.
• Yet again, I moved to Bengaluru for 5 plus months between February 2013 to mid of July 2013. Late night office work often stretching into late mornings, visiting an open air bar, watching movies late nights on weekends, roaming around in Bengaluru city alone the whole day, exploring local markets, tasting food at popular food joints there. It was fun to be at a new place and a very good change from Hyderabad.
• A start of new phase in life.. getting engaged in August, 2013 and then resignation to bachelor life in December 2013.
• First trip to Dindi resorts at Palakollu and falling in love with Godavari river areas once again, lot of movies, busy busy office life, turning into a complete foodie freak, trip to Bengaluru for 5 days and rediscovering the city with my partner, self-driven drives to Madanapalli and Badami rock cut caves for 3 days each, memorable tirupati – tirumala trip just before my travel to US sums up my one happy year of marriage.

Probably any normal person’s life picks up speed once the graduation is complete. I followed the flow of life but did not ever think of where it is taking with me. I did not ever plan for things. I did not have the maturity level to decide a career for me when I was in my high school and exposure that I have now.

Everyone will have true testing times and I had them too.

P.S: Between all these, I did not miss watching movies. Someday I hope to be in movie industry or become a writer. (ha ha .. it’s a bit over board but everyone has their fascination right?)

Ending this article with my all time favorite quote:

"Hope is the essence of life"